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How to combat CEO loneliness

If you’re a CEO who has ever felt isolated and like there’s no-one you can confide in as a leader, you’re not alone.

As the old adage goes, it’s tough at the top. A Harvard Business Review reported that 61 percent of CEOs feel that loneliness hinders their job performance. The higher you move up the ladder, the greater the responsibility, the pressure to deliver results and the level of confidentiality.

CEOs can find it difficult to speak about their challenges, complex problems or biggest fears with their boards, senior executives or colleagues. They also struggle to confide in friends outside of their organization as they often don’t understand the challenges they face. There is also the risk of sharing information and how that could fuel rumors.

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As a CEO, it’s critical that you learn how to overcome feelings of loneliness to improve your health, home life, emotional wellbeing and work productivity.

The lack of privacy modern CEOs face, as a result of technology, has also opened the door to greater public and media scrutiny and created a grey area between private and public lives. There are also expectations that CEOs should increase their transparency, vulnerability and openness to become a better leader.

As a CEO, it’s critical that you learn how to overcome feelings of loneliness to improve your health, home life, emotional wellbeing and work productivity.

Here’s four tips to help overcome CEO loneliness.

Build a team of mentors

These are the people you can consult when faced with challenges and problems. They are curious, like to ask questions, are prepared to listen and sometimes make you feel uncomfortable by challenging you to consider other approaches. It’s valuable to have a diverse range of mentors, who aren’t just like you.

You need to trust their advice and opinions, but most importantly they will provide hard truths from a different angle. I ensure that my mentors come from different industries, cultures and age ranges. Having a mentor who is younger than you is just as powerful as having someone older. It’s ideal to have between four and eight people who give you confidence, clarity and a fresh perspective.

Create work–life integration

Successful people are congruent with their values and character, whether they’re at home or in the workspace. The theory of work–life balance may not be the best approach. Work–life integration is about understanding that work is part of life and we need to effectively manage the boundaries in between.

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Your relationships – whether family, friend or work-related – are all important.

Your body and mind need space to recharge, rejuvenate and reimagine. Having space in your life for relationships, exercise and other passions is important for growth and success. It also can provide motivation and inspiration. Your relationships – whether family, friend or work-related – are all important.

Join a support group or ‘mastermind’

Having a support group or ‘mastermind’ is different to a team of mentors who you consult and confide in individually. Support groups meet on a regular basis, and it could be weekly, monthly, quarterly or even yearly. It’s a group that’s likely to be diverse in nature and provides the psychological safety to discuss, brainstorm and offer solutions to problems, ideas or challenges that people in the group face.

These groups provide a sense of belonging; an honest feedback mechanism where they act as a nurturer, mirror or provider of truth; and can also function as a celebrator, motivator and inspirer. They can help you find clarity and, most importantly, perspective. An extra bonus is that support groups allow you to form connections that help alleviate stress, anxiety and improve mental health.

Embrace courage and vulnerability

In the past vulnerability may have been seen as a weakness, when in fact it’s a strength. We grow through adversity, changing our environment and challenging the status quo. Courage and vulnerability are inclusive. Without vulnerability we cannot be courageous, and without courage we cannot find the strength to speak up and be vulnerable.

As a CEO, it’s OK to say you don’t have an answer or that you were wrong. Having vulnerable discussions helps to build psychological safety within your team or between stakeholders. Vulnerability cultivates trust and respect from others, while creating the space for others to speak up about problems, issues or feelings they have.

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While there’s no instant cure for CEO loneliness, it’s important to remember that no-one succeeds on their own.

It fosters discussion and may provide solutions that haven’t surfaced before. As a CEO you need to lead by example, and showcasing your own vulnerability will only help your team become more engaged and invested.

While there’s no instant cure for CEO loneliness, it’s important to remember that no-one succeeds on their own. Work on cultivating a trusted support network for yourself and in the meantime, keep close this quote from everyone’s favorite superhero movie, Spider-Man: “With great power comes great responsibility.”

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